The "Tinkelator" machine.

All of my brothers (except for Alan the oldest, who was perfect) and I were bed wetters when young, so the memories of my youth are tinged with the sweet smell of urine.

At one point in time, my mother had to change sheets on three beds EVERY DAY. Needless to say, she didn't liked doing this, so a variety of things were tried to remedy the situation. We weren't allowed to drink anything after a certain time of the day, and my parents made sure we were all "well drained" before going to bed. But none of these plans worked. Finally my father, the inveterate inventor, decided to take matters in hand and invent something that would work. So he created the "Tinkelator" machine, and at the same time a legend that will probably be passed on for many generations.

Here is how it worked: Two metal window screens were placed under each bed, separated by a sheet or towel. As long as the cloth was dry, the two screens (which represented the negative and positive ends of an electric current) would not conduct electricity and the circuit was opened. As soon as the fabric got wet, the circuit was closed and a bell rang. A very loud bell, in fact, an old school hallway bell.

It worked! While the bed of the guilty bed wetter would get wet, the bell would wake up the others who could then be drained. (Actually, it woke up everyone in the house.) Best of all, it managed to do this without anyone being electrocuted.

Unfortunately the bell also woke up the neighbors! This ultimately lead to the demise of an otherwise splendid invention, and my mother had to continue washing sheets until we outgrew the problem.